Your Husband Can’t Make You Happy
Is it a husband’s job to make his wife happy? The truth is that it’s not his responsibility and it places an impossible burden on him. Your happiness has to come from within you. You have to take responsibility for how you live your life.
Some people choose to be happy in unfavorable circumstances, and others seem to find it impossible to be happy, even when everything is going their way.
What’s wrong with trying to make your wife happy?
Most men have a natural desire to want to make their wives happy. There’s nothing wrong with this in and of itself. Being kind and doing things that makes a spouse smile, and offering comfort and support makes them feel appreciated.
The problem arises when this is one-sided, and the comforting and support always have to come from the husband. Always acting in a way that will please his wife will only ever bring temporary happiness to her and is likely to take away from his own happiness.
Your husband is your partner, not your crutch
Your emotional dependence on your partner means that he can’t afford to struggle because he knows it makes you despair. He knows that if he makes mistakes, it makes you feel insecure. He’s afraid of saying certain things because he knows how it will affect you.
When you meet someone, and he makes you happy, your expectation is that he will always make you happy. Of course, you want to make him happy too. The problem comes in when he tries to make you happy at the expense of his own happiness.
If he’s always feeling pressure not to say or do the wrong thing for fear of ‘rocking the boat,’ you’re effectively silencing his voice and preventing him from confessing his needs.
When you’re dependent on him for your happiness, you tend to take everything so personally. You want him to fix your life for you because you don’t believe you can fix it yourself. You depend upon him to constantly reassure you and support you.
Your husband should be free to express himself
You can’t always look to your husband to try and validate you. It’s not his job to make you feel a zest for life when you get up in the morning and to keep a smile on your face. Your husband should feel free to be who he is and express what he’s feeling without censoring everything he says to please you.
You need him to be able, to be honest, and frank with you and even tell you those things you may not want to hear. He should have the freedom to speak about what’s on his heart and mind and feel your support when he does so.
Marriage is not so much about making one another happy as supporting one another’s growth. Your spouse can enjoy your happiness with you when he doesn’t have to be the author of it. You have to create your own happiness and free him from that responsibility so he can find his own.
If he’s responsible for your happiness, he can make you unhappy
To give someone else the responsibility for your happiness is like being a puppet waiting for someone else to pull strings. You have no life in you unless that other person takes action. If it’s up to that person to make you happy, that person can also make you unhappy. You don’t want to give someone else that much control over your emotions.
You husband shouldn’t have to fill a void in your life
We all want someone to live and share our lives with but to get the most out of a relationship. You can’t be afraid of being on your own. You need to be at home in your own skin so that you don’t use your partner to fill a void in your own life. You have nobody to blame for your unhappiness but yourself. It’s up to you to decide what you need to make you happy.