When I first told my husband that we were going to have only quickies for an entire month, he was pretty intrigued. We’ve been married for seven years and have 3-year-old twins, which is not exactly the recipe for hot sex, but the truth is that we actually have a pretty great sex life. And that’s mostly because for the first eight years of our now-12-year-long relationship, sex was kind of a nightmare. For years, I suffered from a condition called vulvodynia, or chronic vulvar pain, which made sex super painful and totally miserable. Eventually, that turned into an even worse disorder called vaginismus, which made sex literally impossible. It was really tough on our relationship, and at one point we lost hope that painful sex would ever not be our reality, so now that it isn’t, well, it’s really easy for us to have super satisfying sex life. Because as long as it doesn’t hurt, it’s pretty freaking awesome as far as we’re concerned.
Since neither of us were complaining about our bedroom activities, the idea of a month of quickies mostly just seemed like a fun way to change it up a little, and add in more opportunities to get it on. Our lives are so busy these days and our kids are completely exhausting that some nights we’d both rather just catch up on sleep more than anything else. But I was also curious to see what a month of no-frills, fast and furious sex would actually be like — it sounded exciting in theory, but would it just pan out to be lame, foreplay-less intercourse? (Let’s not forget that it typically takes women four times as long to orgasm than men, ahem.)
We decided to swap our usual drawn-out, bedroom-centric romps for short sex sessions for an entire month to see what would happen. We had no specific rules beyond that, but we both agreed we’d take this opportunity to get a bit more spontaneous and more creative when it came to location. Variety is the spice of life, right?
A Rocky Start
Courtesy of Alana Romain
Although we agreed on a start date for this one-month experiment, we actually ended up pushing it back. A few times. Our first quickie rookie mistake? You have to specifically decide to have a quickie before you begin. Quickies, after all, are just as much as much about mindset as they are about actual length of time, and if you aren’t hitting the ground running and planning for maximum efficiency right off the bat, well, trying to turn normal-length sex into a quickie is just going to feel like a total buzzkill.
A typical beginning-of-experiment exchange?
“Uh, this is technically supposed to be a quickie.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“We can start the quickie thing tomorrow.”
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