Happiness is not merely an emotion, but a rich interaction of experiences stemming from many different elements, such as safety, pleasure, and calmness. This is especially true in married life, where much of people’s happiness is influenced by their spouses. From this article, you will learn the top seven ingredients that constitute the foundation for a happy married life.
Safety has many facets: physical, emotional, financial. To have a happy marriage, a couple must feel safe in all these aspects. They must live in a secure neighborhood, for example, free of crime and unruliness, where they can walk in the streets during the day and sleep peacefully at night without the threat of being physically harmed. They need to have an emotionally stable environment at home, where spouses and family members care for and support each other. And they must feel free from financial problems and uncertainties about money and the future. The good news about safety in modern society is that it is completely attainable. If you are not happy with your neighborhood, you can save money and move to a better neighborhood. If you don’t have financial safety, you can start planning your finances better, get an education and a better job. If you feel that your life is lacking safety, pinpoint the exact problem. Then, come up with a solution. Depending on what kind of safety you are missing, this solution may take time and require work, but you can get there.
Happily married couples value what they have and are not always desperately looking for more. They know they haven’t got everything in life, but what they do have fulfills their needs and expectations at any given moment. Instead of pursuing what they don’t have, they use their time wisely to enjoy everything they have achieved in life: a lovely home, healthy children, rewarding work, holidays, good friends and neighbors. Not having the courage to acknowledge you have enough is a sure path to unhappiness. A great book on satiation is “The Paradox of Choice” by Barry Schwartz. The book examines the idea that having more choice is always preferable. Schwartz argues that there comes a point where more choice doesn’t do any good. Instead, it robs people of satisfaction. When your options are unlimited, you can’t possibly compare all of them. You have to choose based on limited time or information that you have. This actually robs you of satisfaction because subconsciously you are thinking about all the options and things that could have happened if you continued looking. In the book, the author gives strategies and solutions how to cope in the world of unlimited choice and be happy with what you have.
To be happy, a couple needs to have a sense of perspective of what their life is about and what really matters to them. They must be able to see the bigger picture and be aware of how their actions today will affect their life as a whole. That way they can avoid negative impacts that will certainly lead to unhappiness and pursue positive ventures that will ensure their happiness.
This element is something that any couple can have. It doesn’t matter where you live or how much money you are making. If you know what you want, are working towards your goals and see things in perspective, you are one step closer to happiness. Often, it is not what people have that makes them happy. It is actually possible to get bored with all the expensive toys such as cars and homes. It is progress, movement, and purpose that make people happy and you can have it in your life if you choose to.
Some people think that vision and purpose are a gift. It’s either you have them or not. In reality, to have a vision you need to do the work. You need to consider different options, narrow them down and find the ones that work for you.
Married couples need moments of peace and quiet to obtain some respite from their daily grind. No one can be happy eternally surrounded by noise and constant bustle. They must find time for themselves, away from children, family, and neighbors, to spend at least 20 minutes of tranquility with each other. Walking in nature, dining in a small, quiet restaurant, watching the sunset on the beach, or even just sitting in a church or garden are examples of situations that can afford them the opportunity to forget their responsibilities for a while and reconnect with each other.
Happiness comes more easily when life is pleasant. Couples that are pleased with their life, with their work and with each other are more likely to happy than others. There are many small things in life from which couples can derive pleasure: doing good deeds, doing things well, doing favors without being asked, being true to each other, being faithful, being compassionate with others, knowing how to respond to different situations. Whatever pleases you and your partner will make you happy.
Gratitude means feeling and expressing appreciation for what brings you pleasure in life. It means not taking for granted your marriage, your spouse, your children, your comforts, your job, your free time, or what other people do for you. It is an especially important ingredient for a happy married life because, rather than feeling your spouse owes you anything, you are constantly surprised and grateful for the unexpected pleasures he or she provides.
It is obviously easier to be happy when you and your spouse are in good physical and mental health. However, suffering from a condition such as chronic pain or melancholy should not deprive you of moments of pleasure afforded by your marriage, family, and friends. On the contrary, that’s when you need them most, especially your spouse. If this should happen, don’t deprive yourselves of companionship, social interaction and recreational activities, for what gave you pleasure in the past can continue to do so and help ease the pain.