Since our early childhood, we hear so many things about marriage that we grow up with fantasies about ‘And they happily lived ever after’ phase post marriage. And as we enter adolescence, our hormones push us to search for a partner for life. What remains uncovered behind these fantasies and urge is the actual essence of the relationship called marriage. We don’t realize that marriage is not just about making love or walking miles hand in hand; it is also about sharing responsibilities. But until we understand this part, it is often too late! Either it results in a broken relationship or so many fissures and crevices that are difficult to mend.
So, before you tie a knot and say – I do, ponder over the following aspects of marriage until it’s too late:
- Discuss your prospects about career, love, parenting, and risk taking with your partner. Most people come together into a love relationship out of desirability and hurriedly step into marriage. But when they do not have the same future perspectives and respect for each other career aspirations, they move into trouble and disputes. Eventually, love and desirability vanish into thin air. And it’s not just the career; disagreements may come on matters of love, parenting, or any other as well. Building up strong faith in your relationship is the key to a happy life ever after. Common faith keeps a family together.
- Canvass each other opinions over monetary issues. When both partners have different plans with acquired money, disagreements are apparent. On the contrary, when you share financial issues honestly and openly with your would-be partner, you will preserve and nurture your union for a long way together. Reported issues on relationships and marriage reveal that 70 % married couple fight over monetary affairs. By discussing money matters with your partner, you not just avoid a possible reason for combat but also develop a lasting trust among each other.
- Try to figure out how you will handle conflicts post wedding. No matter how hard you try, conflicts and dis-opinions are part of any relationship; marriage is no exception. You and your partner must develop the maturity to handle conflicts in a healthy manner rather than quarreling your ways out in opposite directions. Healthy conflicts often put the foundation for better understanding and intimacy. On the contrary, unhealthy conflicts create resentments and bitterness. You should avoid both silent treatment and violence for a healthy relationship. Try to understand the perspectives of your partner. And if not, just listen. Listening to your partner when they are at the height of anger and rage is like partly winning the battle. Also, you will not like to have a partner who will choose flight in the face of challenges. Ending things up is easy. It takes commitment and perseverance to keep a marriage forever.
- Identify how quickly they yield after conflicts. When we stay with a person all the time, it is evident to have quarreled over some issues. But the more quickly a couple makes up with each other after a conflict, the more it reflects their love for each other and respect for their relationship.
So, when you find wedding bells whistling in your ears, don’t forget to unleash these valuable insights before you say – I do!