There are obvious things that ruin marriages. Good examples are addictions to drugs, alcohol or pornography, domestic violence and infidelity. Since most couples know about these ones, they do everything they can to avoid doing them. Even if your wife and you are okay and have no addictions, there are small problems that could tear you apart. These are less obvious, of course, but they cause considerable distress when present. To avoid these little triggers, read on.
Lack of respect for each other
There are so many couples who disrespect each other without noticing it. It may eat away at a good marriage relationship without anyone’s knowledge. Disrespect can also be a weakness that only one person has. If the offended person doesn’t speak up, he or she may amass negative feelings from being disrespected over and over. Eventually, the amassed feelings could result to some sort of emotional abuse.
Decline in interest in each other
A lot of things can cause a loss of interest in each other. If you no longer do the things you used to do in your dating and early marriage days, the relationship may soon become dull and boring. Lack of common interests can make things worse between couples who rarely do interesting things together. Gradually they could grow apart and fully disconnected emotionally and physically. If you want to avoid this, you should first understand that being in love is a give and take situation. Even if you don’t share hobbies and interests with your partner, you should accompany them once in a while to keep your love stronger.
Pretense and emotional disconnection
People will often get fond of each other as they grow old and if things are bad, they could get emotionally disconnected. The problem with most couples is that they will naturally pretend to be in love when they go out. But when they come back home, real boredom and silent treatment sets in. If things get this bad, intimacy can go down the drain as well. Unless people talk about it and create solutions, pretence and faking can end a marriage union.
Lack of concern
A person who does not care about what their partner is going through comes out as selfish. She or he may be feeling sick, tired, depressed, fearful or just confused. They need you in their most vulnerable moment and the only way you can participate is by showing concern. Without apathy, a marriage cannot be healthy for too long. If you cannot put yourself in your spouse’s shoes, you cannot prop them up when they need you the most. You shouldn’t show pity towards their situation; apathy is much better.
Lack of gratitude
There are specific things that can foster any marriage relationship. One of these is gratitude. It is so easy to say “thank you” yet people don’t do it. When you express gratitude in whatever way, the other person feels appreciated and encouraged to keep making the union stronger. But when you criticize him or her for the little efforts they put to make things work, you might start having scuffles and conflicts.