Isolation is a common challenge faced by those in marriage. Even if a marriage is so great, it can’t be spared by this disease called isolation. It happens when a couple drifts apart smoothly without recognizing it. When things are so bad, that’s when the two recognize that something is going on. If you want to know if your spouse and you are isolated, look for the following signs.
- You both seem to have gotten used to each other and have developed an attitude of not caring or trying to solve anything.
- A deep feeling that he or she is detached from you.
- Being reluctant to solve problems because you think she or he can do it too or you feel that he or she caused the problem and must know how to solve it.
- Avoid talking about your fights because you are afraid of dealing with the aftermath.
- A deep sense that you are no longer able to meet his or her expectations or to make them happy.
- Feeling that your spouse is avoiding you or refusing to speak to you.
How to deal with isolation
When you got married in church, beach or elsewhere, you made a vow to always be together. However, when you began living as a couple, you realized that marriage has its challenges. Some of these challenges are conflicts that trigger silent treatment. If you aren’t careful, you may end up exchanging insults or blows. All these conflicts might instigate isolation and worsen it gradually. At its worst stages, isolation causes a real disconnection and mental abuse. So, to avoid all this, follow these simple steps.
- Stop being selfish – Selfishness can stifle any efforts the selfless partner puts to save a marriage. The best way to stop being selfish is to revisit your dating days. Didn’t you do everything in your power to please and attract him or her? When you feel isolated, take the chance to show him or her some kindness, compassion and love. Avoid dwelling on your arrogance and dependence. This will worsen the crisis.
- Make time for God – If you are believers, create a spiritual discipline that will guide you from this moment on. Have a daily habit of saying a prayer to God. Do it as a couple to gain spiritual nourishment together. This will boost your commitment to each other and God.
- Improve your problem solving skills – A lot of conflicts result to a deadlock because one or both of you don’t listen. If each of you raise their voice, a dialogue will be impossible to create. But if you both learn to be respectful and to listen, you will resolve most of your issues quickly.
- Learn the art of forgiveness – If each time he or she makes you angry you want to leave or hurl insults, your spouse and you will effortlessly drift apart. Before you know it, your marriage will be past reconciliation.
Finally, find creative ways to spend time together. It doesn’t have to be the same eateries or parks you are used to. You should start afresh.