You have just finished a pleasurable sweaty encounter, and some doubts begin to creep in. Was this about sex or were you actually making love. How do you tell the difference? Is there any noticeable difference that you can tell straight away without having to sit down and think about it?
Sex is straightforward and physical and can also be very pleasurable. Good sex that produces deep rocking orgasms also produces love hormones so sometimes it feels like making love, and this is where it gets confusing.
Is it love?
The act of orgasm produces oxytocin which is also known as the love hormone, and this will give you pleasant, happy feelings towards the person with whom you have shared this orgasm. But making love feels completely different.
The act of making love has a different motivation, and it’s the expression of a profound feeling. Making love also involves the whole person, not just their physical body. Making love feels profound and happens in a space where you can feel confident about being your authentic self.
Sex can be very pleasurable. A knowledgeable lover can wake up all your erogenous zones and together you can create a memorable experience. Good sex is important and isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
If each of the partners respects the other and their right to pleasure, good sex can have great health benefits. Among the many health benefits of sex are: higher immune system levels, lower blood pressure, better stress and pain relief.
Sex is a good exercise for the heart and balances the hormones, burns calories and improves sleep. Orgasm helps strengthen the pelvic floor muscles bringing better bladder control for women, and it helps prevent prostate cancer in men.
Physical contact, sex, and orgasms bring increased levels of oxytocin. This hormone that is also released in large quantities during childbirth and helps you feel bonded to your baby or partner creating deeper empathetic connections.
Sex creates intimacy and intimacy grow with time and repetition. Intimacy is about complicity and understanding each other. Intimacy involves both emotional and physical closeness and creating a safe space where you can be open about your needs. Intimacy satisfies a deep psychological need for affection. Growing intimacy grows deeper affection.
Love is a feeling
Whereas sex depends on varying intensity of physical stimulation, love depends on the depth of feeling. The deeper the feeling, the more is pulled into play during an intimate experience.
Sex becomes lovemaking when partners meet with their bodies, minds, and souls. This kind of encounter stimulates a feeling of safety and deep intimacy. It feels like going beyond the physical body to merge with a partner and at times with the cosmos.
Lovemaking is about feeling safe to be creative
A true and intimate exploration of the body of your partner will be effortless and guided by intuition. Your creativity and curiosity will guide you in the exploration of what creates pleasure in your partner’s body.
Making love is not a sexual performance although it is deeply pleasurable. Making love should leave you satisfied on more than one level. Making love gets better with time as you slowly learn how to create waves of pleasure in the body of your partner. Each person is different and has different reactions.
With time and a good level of intimacy and trust, you can learn how to give and receive pleasure. With time the levels of intimacy deepen and like good wine, lovemaking gets better as it ages.