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Pink Gets Real About Her Often Sexless Marriage

You’ve got to hand it to Pink. She’s proved herself to be refreshingly down-to-earth, and she’s one of the more honest celebrities out there. Her outspokenness got her banned from friends’ houses when she was a rebellious kid, but even if her daughter Willow calls her a “total dork,” Pink inspires millions of young women around the world on a variety of empowerment and other issues. And she certainly inspires her family.

She said at the recent VMAs there’s power in being a ‘weirdo’ and in accepting one’s own flaws. She told the story of how her daughter came home from school saying she was the “ugliest girl I know.” Pink being Pink, made Willow a PowerPoint presentation of pop stars with an androgynous edge such as Prince, Annie Lennox, and David Bowie.

Less learned, we think. But what of her marriage. In a recent interview with The Guardian, she opened up about what it’s like living in a monogamous relationship, and some of the highs and lows that come with the territory. In the interview, she spoke of her 11-year marriage to racer Carey Hart.

Carey is a former professional freestyle motocross competitor, motorcycle racer and currently an off-road truck racer. He also owns Hart & Huntington Tattoo & Clothing Company. Pink talks about the relationship’s ups and downs, saying that sometimes she’s absolutely crazy about him, and other times she never wants to see him again. But in the end, she says, it’s worth it. Here’s Pink on her marriage …

“There are moments where I look at [Hart], and he is the most thoughtful, logical, constant … he’s like a rock. He’s a good man. He’s a good dad. He’s just the kind of dad I thought he’d be and then some. And then I’ll look at him and go: I’ve never liked you. There’s nothing I like about you. We have nothing in common. I don’t like any of the shit you like. I don’t ever wanna see you again. Then two weeks later I’m like, things are going so good, you guys. Then you’ll go through times when you haven’t had sex in a year. Is this bed death? Is this the end of it? Do I want him? Does he want me? Monogamy is work! But you do the work, and it’s good again.”

The star admitted what lots of people are too scared to say: monogamy takes work and it’s sometimes so unpleasant that you almost hate the other person.

After her outspoken interview, some news outlets grabbed onto the one tabloid-worthy piece of info in the interview: that the couple hadn’t had sex in a year.

The truth is, whether or not Pink was exaggerating, relationships have their ups and downs and having children changes a relationship, bringing with it a particular level of stress, and often, exhaustion. According to Fortune, a couple’s relationship satisfaction declines almost twice as fast for couples with children than for those without children. Pink and her hubby have two kids, so it’s scarcely surprising that they have little energy or time for sex sometimes.

But couples in sexless relationships are actually a lot more common than one might imagine. Studies show that a significant percentage of married couples do not ever have sex, or have no sex for extended periods. Plenty of couples live more like friends than marriage partners.

So, Pink’s advice on how to make a relationship work is worth listening to. She says that you have to do the work to keep the relationship alive. That means making sure that the needs of both partners are met in the relationship.

Couples in long-lasting relationships often say that communication is the key to a good marriage. Knowing what each other wants, and keeping the lines of communication open is essential, while couples therapy can stoke the flames of a flagging relationship.

Thanks, Pink, for getting real!