Having anyone sneak up on you while pile driving your partner in the comfort of your home is one of my biggest fears. Especially if it’s one of your kids, might as well consider them scarred for life if that ever happens. One way to prevent this is to not have kids at all. I’m living a great life, not having that responsibility always lingering over me, but don’t get me wrong, kids are amazing. I’m just not the type to have ones of my own…like ever. (I said the same thing about a dog and I now have a pup that is pretty much my best friend, so who knows?)But just how bad can it be? Let “Mommy Blogger” Emma Lou Harris explain just how this nightmare unfolded.
There’s an inevitable moment in every parent’s life when your children catch a glimpse of something you’d much rather they didn’t.
Something that the retinas of any grown adult human would need a full lifetime and then some to erase from their traumatized memory boxes but your own child?
Fortnightly shrink sessions for life and replacement eyes are a must.
And I would give serious consideration to hypnosis.
I’d had two full beers that night andJoe had emptied the dishwasher without having to be asked.
I knew right then and there it was game on. Pants . Off!
We shipped the kids to bed as quick as lightning and the very moment they slipped into a slumber, Mission slipping into other things commences for us as we hopped on straight down to sexy town.
Things were getting heated.
We were just getting to the bit of the act about half way through where you actually consider going professional and you wonder why you ain’t teaching these kinda moves on some sort of intense weekend course for beginners.
Ye know, your about 2 mins in and all of a sudden bitches be thinking they some sort of Christian and Anastasia yoga instructors.
It was getting hotter than Satan’s ball sack and I was trying to hold in the noises.
There were nails digging and hair pulling and headboards knocking and we were JUST about to be reminded whyyyyyyyyy the HELL I ever put up with this bollox leaving his crap all over the house when suddenly,
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