When you think about a newly married couple, one of the first thoughts that cross your mind is that they have to have a riveting sex-life. After you have a couple of kids, it’s quite normal to scale down on sex. But what if you never have sex, to begin with? Isn’t marriage and sex supposed to go hand in hand? For David and Jessica, sex has never been an issue, and that is because they don’t have sex at all. One would think that they are one miserable couple. However, they have been going without sex for over two years and couldn’t be happier.
David was very open and honest about their relationship and bluntly stated that they had never had sex before and weren’t planning on doing it any time soon. He also stated that his family and friends were rather concerned about the health of their relationship, but he assured them that there was nothing wrong. In fact, he was of the opinion that things couldn’t be better and that he and Jessica were happier than most couples.
Even their story began in an unconventional manner. They met at an LGBTQ convention and became friends right off the bat. They exchanged details, and their bond grew ever tighter. However, their assumptions about each other were lopsided. David thought that Jessica was gay or bisexual and Jessica thought exactly the same about David. You can’t blame them for making that assumption. It would, however, be quite later on in their relationship that they discovered that they were in fact asexual.
After getting to know each other quite well, Jessica asked David who the lucky guy was that he was dating one day when they were out for coffee. David recalled how he half chuckled to himself when Jessica asked the question. When he told her that he wasn’t gay, she nearly sprayed him with her coffee. She read him completely wrong. Needless to say, that was the day that they started dating and in November of 2015, they got hitched.
Being asexual made things a bit awkward at first. They cuddled, partied together and even kissed each other passionately, but these occasions were marred with some discomfort. It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other or that they weren’t physically attracted to each other, they had to get used to being physically comfortable with each other. That is probably where couples who have sex find things a bit easier.
David mentioned that the other thing that people struggle to wrap their minds around is the fact that they have separate bedrooms. When they got married, they knew what they were getting themselves into. Being asexual, both of them respected and valued the other’s need for personal space. But it isn’t as if they never share a bed. They sleep in the same bed quite often but have no problem when the other wants a bit of space.
Jessica said that it was kind of sad that some of her straight friends were very opinionated about their sexless marriage. They often tell her that something has to be amiss and that there is no love between her and David. The truth is that if there wasn’t any love, they would never have made it to two years. She also said that just like her gay and lesbian friends found the same sex attractive, she also had a place in the relationship spectrum. If you don’t understand something, it doesn’t make it wrong.
When asked about the next phase in their relationship. Both David and Jessica were excited to begin the process of adopting a child. They had already done the research and were soon going to start with the application process to adopt a girl. She is definitely going to be loved by two parents who know what it means to respect a partner.