After a bad fight between couples, a quiet episode follows. None wants to break the ice and restore the relationship to where it was before the fight. Even if one person is willing to apologize, the other one may block them out. The silent treatment is a bad way to solve marital issues. It is a selfish and manipulative way of inflicting emotional pain. If you have been doing this to your spouse, it is good to stop it. If you don’t, the silent treatment will be one of the things that will harm your marriage.
This behavior prevents effective communication and dialogue, leaving a lot of issues unresolved. Additionally, this way of coping with anger makes the other person feel unappreciated, worthless, hurt and frustrated. These feelings of resentment might trigger more fights and disagreements. When you refuse to speak to the other person about a given matter, or to accept their apology, you appear cruel to them. Even if you don’t verbally scream to them that you don’t care, they can notice that you are avoiding or rejecting them.
When you both can’t talk to each other your kids can notice it and feel unhappy. If your partner gives you the dreaded silent treatment, you can take some steps to end it fast. These steps include:
- Express yourself in a respectful, calm tone. You may ask the person to talk about whatever is angering them. As well, you can ask them to warn you before they claim their time to cool off or space. People cope with stress in different ways and some will suddenly cut off any form of communication with their spouse. This can make the other person think that they did something wrong.
- Some relationship experts think that the best way to cope with the starter of the silent treatment is to let the sulk alone.
- Discover that your partner’s constant refusal to talk to you is a form of control and manipulation technique. They could be the ones at fault and decide to go silent to avoid admitting it. In such a situation, the right thing to do is to avoid forcing them to talk to you.
- Even if your temper is bad, try to control it. Threatening the silent partner could worsen the silence treatment.
- If all your partner wants to do is to be in a bad mood, you can walk away to give them space. To avoid getting caught up in their behavior and feeling extremely stressed out, find fun things to do with your time. They might open up once they feel ready. If they do, calm down and speak softly to them.
People who solve their emotional problems by giving silent treatment are very difficult to understand and live with. However, you can use the above-mentioned tactics to get through the episodes of silence. It is good to never get tempted to get even by behaving the same way. Always find more mature ways to solve a conflict. With time, the one who uses cold treatment might stop it for good.