Funny Quotes for Men and Women Getting Married

Funny Advice for Women

“Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor. What Zsa Zsa tried to convey here is that, same as with women, men should not be neglected only because now they said their I dos. Seduction and courtship should never end.

“Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore…” – This advice tells us in a funny way that men tend to be childish at times, but they are also worthy of our respect, so be careful not to treat them as children – and they won’t behave as ones.

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft. This is the worst kind of motivation, but if nothing else works, it is permitted.

“Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.” – Women talk a lot more than men, and men often just cannot hear everything, or often consider it irrelevant.


Funny Advice for Men

“Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife” – This advice suggests that we cannot expect that one woman will have it all. But men should learn to love their wives as they are and realize how unique and wonderful they are.

“Two things are necessary to keep a wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” – Women tend to get fixated on a thing if they believe they’re right, and this advice reveals to men that the easy path out is just to yield.

“Listening to a wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I Agree!” – Similar to one of the previous funny bits of advice, this one reveals that women not only talk more, but talk fairly differently than men, their perception of the world differs, and two need some time to find a common language.

“When a woman says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you, she’s giving you a chance to change what you said.” – Again, women seem to need to prove that they’re right a bit more than men do, or so it appears from a man’s perspective. And the quickest path, but not necessarily the right one, is to surrender. Yet, a better idea is assertive and respectful communication of differences.

Funny Advice for Both

“Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.” – A really funny way of indicating that marriage is a lot of hard work to mend the disagreements. But, the benefits most often outweigh the problems.

“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” – Raymond Hull.  What Hull suggests is that, maybe, adhering to rules of the institution of marriage too rigidly might be the cause of many issues that can be avoided with some flexibility.

“Love is blind. But marriage is a real eye opener.” – Although this advice was meant to be a bit gloomy, it also has its other side, which is the fact that in marriage, we get to know another person so closely that we understand their flaws, and, ideally, come to love them.

“In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it‘s better to close them at times!” – … And tolerate our life partner’s flaws, instead of dismissing our spouse over them.

What did we learn from these bits of advice?

In the end, as with any important thing in life, there can be but one advice that is worth taking, and that is – never do anything that goes against your principles and your beliefs. If you do, you will lose yourself, and be no good not only for yourself but also for your spouse and your family. So, all these bits of advice do reveal a lot about human nature and how marriages often turn out, but they don’t say one thing explicitly, and that is – always respect yourself, your loved ones, and your differences. This is the only path to happiness.


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