Weddings and divorces have always been there. However, no couple wishes for a divorce when they exchange their marriage vows. All couples want to live happily ever after. The reality of divorce or separation catches many unawares, explaining the endless sorrow that follows. If you are constantly fighting with your spouse, do not rush to separate with them. There is still hope if you have not met a professional marriage counselor. This specialist knows which marriages are irreconcilable and which ones can be saved. Before you lose all hope, make a date with a good marriage specialist. He or she might rescue your shaky marriage. Meanwhile, here are a number of things you can do to save your relationship with her or him.
1. Write down the reasons why you feel angry, mad and hopeless about your spouse
Even if you have these negative feelings, you should control yourself from acting irrationally. Anger and frustration do indicate a major problem with your marriage, yes, but it does not mean that you cannot let go. When you feel angry and furious you cannot even pinpoint the exact thing that you dislike about your partner. You would tend to say so many vile things about them at the same time. That’s why you need to calm down, focus, think and write.
2. Write down your desires and concerns
These things should only focus on you. Jot down the things you would like including your desires and concerns. Better still, go back to step one and ask yourself what you would like regarding every problem you have listed. If you find yourself writing things you want him or her to do for you, re-focus on yourself. At the same time, figure out what you can personally do differently to manage to achieve your desires.
3. Stop with the criticism and grumbling
It is okay, you are angry, but you can cut the crap. If you want to save your marriage, take the lead in restoring sanity to how you communicate with your spouse. From this point on, stop blaming, criticizing, complaining, insulting or talking badly behind his or her back. Don’t raise your voice anymore; try harder if you have to. Be completely calm.
4. Express yourself maturely and constructively
A good sentence starts with “I feel”, “I would like to” and similar phrases. You shouldn’t sound angry, sarcastic or pretentious when looking to solve issues in your marriage. Speak firmly, but respectfully. At the same time, try to understand your partner’s concerns and shun from getting things done your way. When you solve an issue like a team rather than separately, you can both participate in saving your marriage.
5. Do away with addictions, anger and affairs
Many marriages come to an end because one or both couples are easily angered, unfaithful or lost to a particular form of addiction. With these three, a marriage cannot stand. If you suffer from any of the three, make sure you seek help or do something to get rid of your weakness. But if the other person is the culprit and is unwilling to change, you might end up disappointed trying to save a marriage.