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Cohabiting before Marriage doesn’t Necessarily Result to a Happy Union

young couple

In modern times, couples stay together before getting married. Getting married to start living together is slowly becoming a thing of the past. According to expert marriage counselors, eighty-five percent of couples who live together before getting married get divorced. Does this mean that people should never cohabit before they decide to say the vows? Religious people don’t believe in pre-marital sex leave alone cohabiting.  So a decision to live together would widely depend on your personal beliefs. If you end up living together while being unmarried, don’t ignore the fact that you could break up when you get married. But why would this happen? It is mainly because couples who live with each other think that they have attained the compatibility they need to survive in marriage.


Besides, they recognize the fact that if there is no marriage, separating for good would be easier. In addition, they have a belief that it is easier to adjust when you don’t feel trapped in a marriage relationship. So when couples who have cohabited before wed and enter marriage life, they expect to cope as easily as before. Hence, they don’t view marriage as an affair that changes a couple’s life in a negative and positive manner. In the reports we have read, chances of divorcing after staying together are higher than for couples who wed and begin learning to live together. Couples who didn’t wait to get married to live together end up forming weaker marriages.


The primary reason why several couples choose to live together rather than marry right away is because none feels committed to marriage life.  The fear of commitment leads many to cohabit and quit instantly if they can’t get along.  In short, these couples want to test the marriage life without getting fully committed. But what these couples fail to see is that nobody can know how marriage life is really like until they get married. If any of them makes a mistake, the testing period and the relationship would end there. In an actual marriage, people don’t break up just because they had a fight. The commitment and love that brought them together is usually strong enough to help them reconcile. If they cannot save their marriage, they separate or divorce amicably.


When a marriage commitment is felt, the man and wife first try to solve the problem before breaking up. This is not the case with those who live together first and then get married. Their kind of commitment is different and has rules. As long as each partner is ready to do their part in the arrangement the cohabitation may continue. They lack the willingness to tolerate each other’s mistakes and forgive. Also, they cannot stick with each other during the ups and downs of life the same way a couple that began life together after marriage could. While in marriage, these couples will not let go of the habits they had while living together. They will keep on following their monthly rental agreement or lease. So their core reason for marrying is so that they can continue sharing rent and intimacy as before.


When kids come and real marital challenges begin, a couple that lived together before marrying is unlikely to survive in marriage. Also this couple cannot accept the Joint Agreement policy that recommends doing nothing without reaching an agreement with your spouse. After all, they are used to doing whatever they please and still getting along. This cannot end well in a real marriage where couples work as a team. All is not lost though, if you are currently living together and are unmarried. You can make a successful marriage by teaching yourselves more about it.