If you are starting to feel unhappy all the time and you think that your marriage is to blame because it’s your partner’s fault, then take a pause to look in the mirror. Every relationship is based on the interaction of two people so the responsibility is 50/50.
Maybe it’s the time to own up and stop putting others through the hell of living with whatever you are throwing at them.
A relationship doesn’t work if there is constantly demanding, taking, egoism, negativity, being angry and blaming. Once you have identified the way, you might be ruining your relationship you can get help.
There are some behaviors that are super-destructive to relationships. Each one is sufficient to destroy a relationship on its own. If you can work on these, your family will be grateful, and you will reap the many benefits of being in a happy marriage and enriched life in unexpected ways.
You never take responsibility for anything that happens in your daily life. It’s always his fault. You attack and blame him for anything. You even blame him for your own behavior; it’s his fault for making you behave like that.
Blaming is a consequence of your own immaturity. Blaming your partner is a reflection of your own unrealistic expectations. These expectations make you dissatisfied and feed your unhappiness resulting in you blaming your unhappiness on your spouse. Now is the time to learn to take responsibility for yourself.
This is the single most important key to a good relationship. Take full responsibility for what you think, how you feel, and how you behave and that includes responsibility for your sexual satisfaction too.
When you fell in love, you unconditionally accepted everything about your partner. Now you only see their failings, and you want to change them for the better. You criticize everything you don’t like about them in the hopes that it will improve them.
The criticism erodes to an attitude of contempt, even so far as calling your partner names. You find a way to find fault in everything and make sarcastic stinging remarks to show your superiority. Criticizing and being derogatory about your partner is the quickest way to destroy your relationship.
It leads to them feeling distrusted, devalued, anxious, shamed, and offended. It will kill growing intimacy right in its tracks. Take a step back and listen to yourself and try and move beyond. Compromise is a keyword in a partnership, and you need it in spades. To move away from criticism, you need to be kind, understanding and willing to compromise.
Being emotionally closed
A relationship thrives with intimacy. Every time you shut down communication and stonewall each another, instead of openly addressing issues, you create distance. A relationship needs open communication and love.
Deceit, deception, withholding your feelings or what you are doing from your partner is a surefire way to destroy the relationship. Being closed within a relationship includes withholding your feelings, your affection and even withholding sex.
A lack of affection or complicity is not conducive to an intimate relationship, and therefore it’s not good for sex. A lack of sex leads to a distancing in the relationship. Sex creates intimacy and bonding in a couple. In a relationship, your partner has a reasonable expectation of affection and physical contact from their partner.
If you have been courageous enough to identify any of these behaviors, then you are already on the road to saving your relationship. External help will allow you to stop them before they get worse and create a satisfying and fulfilling space for you and your partner.