They say women are the mysterious sex, that women are hard to understand and emotional creatures. In past decades even called the “weaker“ sex. This is not true, but there are hardwired biological and psychological differences between men and women. Spouses relate differently to each other, and there are some behaviors and ways of communicating with your dearly beloved that you should avoid.
- Don’t Be a Problem Solver
When your wife comes home from work and has had a long and difficult day she may share her frustrations and feelings with you. Perhaps you hear her moans on a regular basis. Perhaps you’ve even suggested she find a different job as she works with colleagues who annoy her on a regular basis. Although this is a logical solution, it is not what she needs. Just listen and share her feelings.
- Don’t Compliment Other Women Too Much
It’s not that your wife is incapable of knowing that you only have eyes for her and that sharing that you think that Miss SuperModel is hot, is going to happen. However, women constantly measure themselves against the photoshopped, glossy, beauty queens of the world and – like any person – those media enhanced images are impossible to achieve. Women are in competition with each other.
- Never Suggest a Diet
Yes, your wife may be a little, and you may have her best interest at heart, but your helpful (problem-solving) suggestion will be an arrow through her heart. For richer, or poorer, for skinny jeans or comfy Mom ones, your wife and for most women our self-esteem is connected to our physical appearance. Even if she is on a diet and wolfs a cheeseburger or two, keep your lips sealed.
- Never Suggest an Exercise Class/Gym membership
Your wife may not see your logical solution to her lack of fitness, or poor eating choices in the same way that a man might. When it comes to body image, health and nutrition women’s bodies are designed to store energy. Women are also more sensitive to these types of issues than men. Your wife may be deeply hurt by this. Women are very conscious of society’s pressure to conform to unrealistic size zero bodies. Embrace her, and her curves.
- Do these jeans/ dress/ trousers make me look fat?
Your wife may look like a baby elephant in an unflattering cut of trousers. However, you should say nothing at all – even if they do. Lie through your teeth. A little white lie us far better than the painful truth in this case. Women have mirrors, and also seek comfort in clothes. Your wife has plenty of girlfriends she can consult about clothing. You need not reveal the truth, leave that to a colleague/sister or friend.
- Never Ask how much her hairdresser charges/nail technician etc
Looking youthful and beautiful is more than routine for your wife. Women spend small fortunes on their hair especially. Men will never quite be able to relate to the need to feel pampered and pay for beauty and related services. Your wife will sacrifice many other parts of her budget to keep her tresses looking stylish. The costs involved can be eye-watering.
- Never Forget the Details
Your wife needs to feel loved and appreciated in a big and small way. Husbands often neglect to remember the courtship side of romance. Ask your wife out on a date. Buy flowers. You may work hard and long hours but the smallest gifts and gestures need to be remembered. Make her tea. Do the dishes. Pick a flower.
- Don’t Watch Sport the Whole weekend
Your wife may be a sports fan and enjoy watching with you, but she may also feel neglected if you are on the couch or at games all the time. Wives need quality time with their husbands. If it’s a busy sports weekend be sure to schedule something special to do as a couple – breakfast date, walk in the park, ordering her favorite takeout.