You’re quite #proud of all the crazy sex you’ve had already with him. But if you really want to complete your sexual repertoire as a couple and add some next-level badass-ery to your bedroom, sexpert Dr. Ava Cadell, author of NeuroLoveology: The Power To Mindful Love And Sex, and sexual empowerment expert Amy Jo Goddard, author of the upcoming book Woman On Fire, say you need to do these things at least once:
1. Have “no-orgasm sex”
It seems pointless, but Dr. Ava says no-orgasm sex can break the cycle of your predictable routine. To do this, you have to spend lots of time building intimacy. “Looking deep into their eyes releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical that establishes a greater sense of intimacy and increases desire,” she said. To brew this sexual chem cocktail, Dr. Ava advises that you focus less on genitals and more on passionate kissing, putting your hand over his heart, breathing around the top of his neck all the way to the tip of his toes, and by blowing on the left side of his body to stimulate the pleasure side of his brain. Then, when you actually do allow each other to orgasm the next time you have intercourse, the sex will be that much hotter.
2. Take a tantric trip together
Developing tantric intimacy is totally worth it for a couple that has been together for five years or more, says Dr. Ava. The breathing, swift movements, and muscle control practices allow couples to share a unique, long-lasting pleasure experience, sans the intense sweating and break-the-bed sex moves. According to Dr. Ava, practicing tantric sex and/or going on a tantric retreat with your partner not only makes your sex life more exciting, but can open up a whole new realm of closeness you didn’t even know existed.
3. Get naked in nature
There is a reason sex outside is so exhilarating, and it’s not just because it’s risky business. Amy Jo says it has so much more to do with the energy nature brings. “Many people can turned on by nature and are into eco sexuality,” Amy Jo explained. Try doing it under a tree in your backyard or at night under the stars for a thrilling adventure that will shake things up and possibly open new doors to your sex life that you didn’t even know were there.
4. Try a Kama Sutra position
You think the Kama Sutra contains impossible sex moves that only acrobats can do. But Dr. Ava says that there are actually a ton of positions for couples who can’t contort their bodies like Cirque du Soleil performers. For example, the Utphallaka pose, or The Flower Bloom, is just a matter of raising up your vulva higher than your head while lying on your back and having him enter you from above—sounds simple enough, right? Even if it’s a wee bit out of your comfort zone, you should try it at least one time…if not for the sole purpose of being able to tell your brunch friends this weekend that you actually had Kama Sutra sex.
5. Make a sex tape together
Yes, it’s a bit risqué, especially if you’re still scarred after what happened to Kim K. But the naughtiness of filming yourselves is exactly why it could be so thrilling if you’re hoping to take your sex life from “bleh” to “BAM!” says Dr. Ava. If you are super comfortable in your marriage and with your hubbie, create a video together and watch it while you are having sex to really rev each other’s engines. Just make sure you become the “keeper” of the file and hide it in a safe spot away from the kids. In short, password protect that shit.
6. Play unexpected games
Turns out truth-or-dare isn’t just something you play in middle school. Dr. Ava says any couple can make this classic game into a very sexual one that can lead to lots of laughs, fun, and carefree banging. If truth-or-dare is not your thing, try engaging in an intense tickle war or a naked pillow fight with your spouse. Dr. Ava believes that creating these new memories with sex games will make you associate fun times in your marriage with intercourse. Plus, the usual initiator of sex between you two will seriously appreciate the much-needed change of pace.
7. Strip down in a semi-public space
Keyword: semi. Doing it in a shopping mall or in a park is probably not the best idea if you’d rather not make a trip to the jailhouse. Instead, Dr. Ava recommends going somewhere a little more secluded, but still risky, like a store dressing room, on a boat, or in a restaurant bathroom. The added excitement and adrenaline naturally boosts your sex drive and can make any couple feel like Rizzo and Kenickie again.