7 Enhancing Lovemaking Conversations for Couples

Lovemaking in a monogamous relationship is said to be heart-pounding, breath-taking, and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us settle for the same sexual positions?

Far too often, spouses become “too important” for experimenting in the bedroom. This takes the mysterious element of sex between two people and puts our wild erotic nature into a jar that will never be opened again.

Sometimes partners stop putting in the effort to seduce their partner. They assume the ring on the finger means they don’t have to try; that a wedding band means you’ll be turned on by me, no matter what I do or how I look. You’ll love me till death do us part.

Your partner may love you no matter what, but your lack of effort to stay sexy prevents your partner from wanting to get sexy.

Passionate sex requires attention. Both partners must walk deep into the forest of connection and erotic desire to uncover the best sex of their lives. As much as our culture gets off to the story that love making should be easy, it’s not.

The sort of life-changing sex that wakes the neighbors requires a level of anxiety, because amazing lovemaking lies at the intersection of personal growth for both partners. It requires couples to overcome self-worth issues. To fail at new ways of lovemaking and fucking. To tackle sexual shame that inhibits our erotic nature. It requires them to challenge each other and themselves to reach their full sexual potential.

If you want lovemaking that transcends your body as you thrust your way into a new realm of existence, then your sex life needs to be able to tolerate intense intimacy. I’m not talking about a post-sex cuddle session. I’m talking about the kind of intimacy that make your insides feel so warm that your heart feels like the sun is bursting in your chest.

Intimacy is the gateway into the sort of sex many of us spend our lives wondering if we’ll ever experience. When I started exploring intimacy with my partner, I was challenged in ways I’ve never thought possible. When I allowed my partner to truly see me I felt extreme vulnerability. I wanted it to stop. But as I grew through the discomfort, our sex became passionate.

I began to feel connected to my partners in ways I’ve never felt before. The intimacy between us was intense. Our sex life had a life of its own; it roamed free. We started to truly feel each other as our emotional walls to deep intimacy fell away.

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