Integrity and ethical values are essential elements in a happy life and marriage. That entails not only telling the truth but, principally, living the truth. Ethical and honest people have no secrets or hidden agendas. They are truthful with themselves, their spouses, their family, their friends and their colleagues. From this article, you will learn about six questions that will tell you whether you are living an honest life that can bring happiness to you and your marriage, or whether you have something you need to work on.
Do you get angry often?
Anger usually stems from inner conflicts we have – frustration, insecurity, stress, financial concerns, strained relations. It normally manifests itself through some kind of aggressiveness, especially towards those that are closest to you, such as your spouse. Unless you are honest with yourself and others and seek to solve those personal conflicts, your family and marriage will bear the burden and be unhappy. So remember, you are the sole source of your own anger, not others.
Do you often feel tense?
Tense and stress are evolutionary responses that prepare us to face threats and dangers. However, they are not supposed to be persistent, long-lasting feelings. Therefore, continuous tension is a sign that you are feeling vulnerable in some way, and things are not well. No marriage can be happy if one of you feels constantly threatened.
Do you apologize often?
When you apologize too often, usually you are not sorry for doing something wrong, but for being who you are. In other words, you are trying to live up to other people’s expectations, instead of being true to yourself. This can be especially demanding in a married relationship, with one spouse continually trying to please the other without regard for his or her own feelings and needs. Devoting yourself excessively to others to the detriment of your own necessities and being overly concerned about other people’s opinions about you are also forms of falsehood.
Do you avoid other people too often?
We usually avoid people when we have some problem or unfinished business with them that we are too cowardly to face. For example, maybe you owe someone money or have lost or broken something they lent you. Or perhaps you have gone behind your spouse’s back and done something both of you had agreed not to do. Whatever the case, if you are avoiding people, you are not being honest and facing your problems to solve them.
Do you have difficulty facing the truth?
An honest and forthright person always tells the truth, however painful it may be to them or to others. It does not help to spare other people’s feelings by lying or omitting information, because they will feel worse when they eventually learn the truth. That is especially true in a domestic environment, whose inhabitants lead lives that are intimately linked and will fall apart if based on lies and falsehood.
Is there any part of your life you are not proud of and try to hide?
Duplicity – leading a double life – is deceitful and hypocritical. It means you are not the same person in public as you are in private. Cheating on your spouse, taking drugs, drinking heavily, frequenting seedy establishments and engaging in unlawful activities are all examples of a double life. Duplicitous people are very unhappy because they are in constant fear of being found out. In addition, the consequences of their actions usually weigh heavily on those who are close to them, for they will eventually lead to broken homes and marriages when the truth comes out, not to mention public scandals.
The truth is essential to intimate relationships. It benefits everyone involved. One of the best ways to ensure happiness in a marriage is being 100% trustworthy and honest with your spouse and people around you.