Anger problems are various but almost every time they have to do with one underlying trigger: power. This is why anger affects so many marriages and has a great impact on all types of people. However, angry behavior is unacceptable in all circumstances, but especially in a marriage. Marriages are built on trust and love and when anger sets in, it overshadows your whole life. But the fact that’s so common among couples can also be an encouragement to start dealing with it immediately.
Anger can make you numb
Perhaps you think you know what anger feels like but when it comes to living and acting angrily in a marriage, most men don’t realize they’re actually angry. Basically, anger makes you numb and it stops you from dealing with unpleasant emotions or situations in your relationship. Perhaps you won’t see this state of being as something to worry about. However, numbing oneself and turning into an unemotional person is just a temporary lie. People can’t ignore their emotions forever and when real feelings cut through, anger sets in. And once it does, pretending you’re too much of a man to feel anything simply fades into helplessness.
Help yourself first
When you’re losing your temper all the time, this is probably because you have an anger issue. It’s easy to blame yourself for yelling, shouting and acting unfairly to you partner, but this won’t help you at all. Blame is just as bad because it keeps you from focusing on the source of your anger. You’re the first that can make an improvement and blame won’t take you too far. Instead, you should stop blaming yourself and try to see how you can control your feelings. Then you can leave all the blame behind and replace negative emotions with determination to make your marriage work.
Turn to each other for help
When couples deal with anger, things may seem to reach a dead end. However, it’s always possible to change for the better if you only seek help and support in your partner. Passive anger is just as bad as active anger. It numbs all initiatives and it stops you from speaking up, from doing anything to reach an agreement with your wife. This is precisely why saying aloud what you want and need is so important. You’ll open yourself to possible solutions without abusing or hurting your partner’s feelings.
It’s not normal
To realize that anger is a problem in your life and marriage you need to see its overwhelming existence. When anger becomes part of your daily life, things can only go from bad to worse. This is why detecting the ways it makes you behave and also the changes it brings about is crucial right from the very beginning. Both you and your wife need to pay close attention to the things you considered normal in your relationship and try to stick to them as closely as possible. If those habits are continuously replaced by angry and tense situations, then it’s time to admit you have an anger issue. Only by admitting its abnormality will you able to overcome it.