20 Experts Share Their Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Never lose the fine art of dating.

Setting aside a romantic evening on a regular basis can rekindle the magic of a long-term relationship. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just special time for the two of you to remember how and why you first fell in love. – John Sovec, LMFT

Love your marriage by first taking care of yourself.

So many of my patients say the reason their marriage fell apart is that they became depressed and disinterested in their partner. If you keep working on you, your marriage will stay fresh and vital. Start today by adding a new wedding vow to your list: Promise to take care of yourself so you will continue to age with grace and confidence by your partner’s side. – Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

Take time to have some fun together every day!

With today’s hectic schedules, it’s easy to find your marriage at the bottom of the priority list. Take a walk and hold hands (nature calms), couple-cook (food fight!), exercise together (tennis or dancing maybe?) or just collect a “Daily Joke” to share. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but if you make the commitment and effort to laugh together as often as possible, it can sweeten your connection and cement your relationship for life. – Melodie Tucker, CPC

In order to keep the spark alive and avoid “roommate syndrome,” couples have to understand the notion of spending “time” together versus creating “sacred” time together.

Spending time at social events, time with family and doing “chores” together does not count as sacred time. Instead, carve out special time to not only be intimate, but also ensure that you continue to share new experiences together such as hiking, exploring someplace new, or arranging a stay-cation in your own city. – Marni Battista, CPC

Compliment your spouse everyday!

A compliment is a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. Make an effort to affirm your spouse’s value in life, and in love. – Nicole Johnson, Dating and Relationship Coach

When you first see each other at the end of your respective days, before you do anything else, hold each other without speaking for at least 60 seconds.

By doing so you remind each other’s old/reptilian brains that you are a source of pleasure and comfort. It’s simple, it’s easy to do, and it will make a world of difference. – Laura Marshall, LCSW

Lean in.

When it gets hard in a relationship, our tendency is to protect ourselves, to retreat, to “lean out.” Leaning out when your partner reaches out creates distance and dissonance. If instead you “lean in” to the uncomfortable feelings, to the unknown and your own vulnerability, and meet your partner, you can actually strengthen your relationship through the struggles you face together. – Christine Arylo, Life Coach

Accept your partner exactly as they are today.

Don’t try to change him/her. – Ellen Hartson

Have you lost that loving feeling?

Step 1: Write down 10 qualities you loved about your partner when you first met and read it to each other. Step 2: Brainstorm a list of 10 fun things you did together when you first met; do one date per week and enjoy bringing back that loving feeling! – Tasha Dimling, Dating Coach, MBA

Always remember that life is long.

In the heat of the moment, what feels super-important will likely fade in importance as time goes by. Before you react by yelling, tossing insults or unkind words, remember that “This, too, shall pass”. In fact, recent studies have shown that even the most unhappiest of couples report being very happy five years later. So don’t let one unfortunate incident, difficult argument or challenging moment destroy your lifetime of happiness. – Melanie Gorman, MA