Relationship articles are a dime a dozen. The internet is positively littered with them. Everywhere you look there are people telling you what makes a relationship great, how to make your relationship great, what you shouldn’t be doing in a relationship, how you should act, and how you should feel.
The list is literally endless. While there are some good bits of advice out there, mostly it is a load of garbage. It is written by people who do not know what they are talking about. By people who do not realize that every relationship is different and that there is no secret to a lasting relationship.
You can go on and on about all the damaging information out there but for the sake of simplicity, let’s have a look at the absolute worst pieces of advice that you could be hearing regarding your relationship.
- You should lower your standards
People are simply different. One person is not better than another. If the relationship is not working maybe the two of you shouldn’t be together.
- You are there to change them
People do change, but they only change if they want to change. Not because someone makes them change. It is not your role or even your place to change the person that you are dating.
- Don’t fall asleep angry
You do not need to deal with every and any problem before going to bed. Some sleep may actually give you some perspective on the problem that the two of you are facing.
- Fun is temporary
The honeymoon phase probably won’t last, but you should still enjoy the company of your partner.
- Opposites attract
This is not to say that opposites can’t attract, but people tend to date someone that they have something in common with.
- All you need is love
You do need love in a relationship, but you also need hard work, devotion, trust, loyalty and a whole lot of other things.
- Make yourself irresistible
You should not be making yourself anything but what you are. Trying to change who you are to get into a relationship will just land up blowing up in your face.
- There is a right time to get married
Every person has their own timeline. Work according to your own clock, not someone else’s.
- If they love you, then they will be jealous
There is no such thing as healthy jealousy. There is only a lack of trust.
- There is a boss in the relationship
Power in a relationship is shared, it is not held by one person all the time.
- Don’t sweat the small things
If something is bothering, you then say something. If you don’t, then the small things will pile up until they are a huge unmanageable mess.
- Stalking your partner online is fine
You should trust your partner and not need to stalk them online. If you don’t trust them, then should you be with them in the first place?
- Your partner is there to meet your needs
You are there to contribute to each other’s lives, not to fulfill every need or requirement that pops up.
- You fall in love when you are not looking for it
You are the master of your life. If you are open to having a healthy relationship, then you will be receptive to it when it comes along.
- Only they will love you
You are worthy of love, no one should tell you any differently.
- The right relationship is easy
All relationships take work, this should be a no-brainer.
- Don’t be too strong
Be yourself. Do not degrade yourself or let someone tell you that who you are is not good enough.
- The silent treatment works
If you need time to think then take that time. But, do not give your partner the silent treatment solely to punish them.
- Happy couples don’t argue
If you need to argue then argue. Other couples’ behaviors should not impact your relationship.