Relationship goals are different for every couple. For instance, just look at our favorite pieces of fiction and you can see how wildly different the goals are for certain couples. For instance, in Twilight, Bella just wants to settle down with her vampire lover. But in Game of Thrones, Queen Cersei wants to take over the kingdom and just needs a man to tag along. Also, in House of Cards, Frank and Claire are hell bent on taking over the world.
So don’t get down about your relationship. Regardless of where you stand, you can come up with some reasonable goals and then go about working towards achieving them with your partner.
But to help you along the way we’ve put together a handy list for you to reference.
Here are some of our favorite relationship goals
Being able to be apart and not losing your minds.
While it’s important to be in love with your partner, you also want to be comfortable being apart from them. If both of you derive your personalities from each other, then that makes you crazy dependent on them and can cause friction. But if you have your own empowered self, then both of you will be stronger. So work on spending nights with friends or apart and make the time you’re together so much more important.
2. Getting into a fight and not hating each other.
Fighting is an art form. And for most of us, we’re definitely not artists. We’re more like finger-painters. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get better at it. Work towards having constructive arguments with your partner and you’ll be amazed at how much smoother the relationship proceeds.
3. Be each other’s sexual rockstar
Sex should be something that you both look forward to. It should never seem like a chore. So spend some time learning everything your partner loves and hates about sex and then tailor your skills and techniques to fulfilling their every wish. It will make the bedroom much more pleasurable for the two of you.
4. Trusting your partner when they’re on their own.
Nothing is more frustrating then getting some time to yourself and then being bombarded by texts asking about every detail of your surroundings. At its core, this is a sign of vulnerability in the party asking the questions. They’re scared and don’t know how to express it, so it comes off as possessive and jealous. But if you work on building trust and showing your partner that no matter where you are or who you’re with, they’re always the number one priority to you, then you can smooth out a lot of this friction.
5. Being comfortable around their family.
You shouldn’t need your partner standing next to you like a secret service agent whenever you’re around their family. You should be comfortable enough to have discussions, laugh, and tease their family as if they were your own. When you can do this, then you will truly have embraced their family. So get to work on being more comfortable around them.
6. Being supportive of each other’s hobbies
I have some silly hobbies that I know my spouse hates. But that doesn’t mean she has to avoid them. When this does occur, it can cause distance in a relationship and isolation when you’re both working on your respective hobbies without the other. Instead, work towards appreciating each others hobbies and learning to love aspects of them. While they won’t become your hobbies, they can certainly be something enjoyable that you can both share.
7. Trust each other with your devices and accounts
My spouse knows how to unlock my phone and access my social media accounts. Do they ever do it to snoop on me? Never. But having them know that they can access them if needs be lets them know that you have nothing to hide. It’s a level of trust that a lot of couples struggle with. But if you have something on your devices or accounts that they shouldn’t be seeing, then you need to ask yourself what it’s doing on there in the first place. To have trust, you need to earn it. So don’t do stupid things on your devices and accounts that you wouldn’t want your partner to see.
8. Being on the same page about family.
Some people want a ton of kids, some people want no kids. Some folks want pets and others want nothing to do with them. Regardless of your preferences, you should strive to be on the same page as your partner. But remember that being on the same page as them doesn’t mean that you 100% agree with their stance. Instead, you should both share your desires and dreams with each other and then look for common ground between the two and meet in the middle.
9. Being able to talk about members of the opposite sex candidly
We’re human beings. And because of that we have natural human desires. We might find someone hot, attractive, sexy, or whatever. And they may not be your spouse or partner. But this isn’t a negative thing. It means you’re human and that’s okay. It’s when you act on those feelings or desires that things get messy. But a great way to stop repressing these feelings is to talk about it with your partner. Tell them if you see a sexy person and mention why. But then be sure to compliment your partner and let them know that you prefer them over that other person. If they know that what you have together is so much more than just physical, then there should be no issues with one of you pointing out that a stranger has a really nice butt. You can both admire it!
10. Taking care of each other when you’re vulnerable
Yes it’s nice to have your partner baby you when you’re sick. And yes, I get that a bunch of wives are reading this and rolling their eyes at the “man cold”. But being sick isn’t the only time we’re vulnerable. That’s when we’re not feeling well physically, but there are countless times when we’re mentally or emotionally weak and need support. When you can stop viewing this as an inconvenience and understand that your partner needs your help, you’ll achieve a new level of understanding between the two of you. So, never shirk from caring for your partner, always be ready to help when needed.
11. Moving stuff out of the realm of sensitivity
We all know there are triggers for our partner that we’re not allowed to even approach in arguments or conversations. For instance, my wife is very sensitive to the idea that she’s quite a bit like her mother with certain weaknesses she has. And in our first year of marriage I made the mistake of pointing that out. It caused a huge fight. However, as time went on we started discussing this fact with each other outside of arguments and were able to make light of it in a lot of ways. Now we poke fun at each other about this, when a few years back it was almost grounds for divorce. And you can see how having a bunch of open wounds that are sensitive would be difficult for any relationship to navigate around. So, work on removing these and lessening their effect. This doesn’t mean you’re not sensitive to certain topics, but it does remove those topics’ power to cause friction in your relationship.