Intimacy without sex? Yes, it’s possible. Intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean sex. Intimacy is actually a certain level of closeness and togetherness between people; it’s cozy and full of affection and warmth.
Maybe you and your partner have been together for a while, and the intimacy between you isn’t what it used to be. Maybe things between you are a bit stale and need refreshing. Satisfying sex is important, but intimacy is the key to a happy relationship.
Read on to find out how you and your partner can become more intimate … without having sex!
- How’s it going?
Once you’re past the honeymoon stage in your relationship, things might have cooled down between you. This is when it’s time to take a look at your relationship. How satisfied are you? Identify areas in which things could improve.
Maybe you think you could spend more quality time together? Or perhaps you would like more affection. Now initiate a discussion with your partner. Pick a stress-free time where you are able to have an open discussion about meeting each other’s needs.
- Look into my eyes
If your relationship has lost intimacy, you might find that you don’t make as much eye contact as you used to. Remember those long, loving looks? Well, you can regain that feeling by practicing eye contact. Look into each other’s eyes and hold your gaze. You might feel silly at first, but research shows a connection between eye contact and feeling more bonded. Practice regularly for maximum benefits!
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- Communication is key
Good communication is essential to building intimacy. If you aren’t communicating your needs to your partner, your needs will remain unmet. That leads to frustration and resentment. The answer is to develop good communication habits.
The first step is to give each other your undivided attention. Then, make sure you are listening to your partner. State your needs clearly, and in a non-threatening way. You will develop a deeper intimacy with your partner if you communicate clearly.
4. Do things together
Doing things together helps build intimacy and connection. Why not take a walk around the block in the evening? Hold hands. Talk about your day. Share your dreams. Cook dinner together to your favorite music.
Reminisce about your first date or first dinner together. Send each other text messages of love during the day. Or leave notes around the house for your partner to find. Exercise together. You’ll both be healthier, and you’ll build a great sense of closeness.
- Don’t go the whole way … at least for a now
Jumping into bed together might seem like the solution to a lack of relationship satisfaction. But it doesn’t solve the issue of unmet needs and a lack of intimacy. Instead of going the whole way and having sex, why not make out like you did when you first met. Take it deliberately slowly and enjoy that butterflies in the tummy feeling again. It’ll be fun, and it’ll help up your intimacy.
- Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
It’s so easy to take each other for granted. But for intimacy to return, it’s important to be grateful for each other. At the end of every day, make it a habit to express your gratitude for something your partner did that day.
It might be something small like taking the trash out or doing the grocery shopping. But no matter how small the deed might be, tell each other how grateful you are for what they do. It will make you both feel good, and help to create trust.
- Open up
In order to establish intimacy, you need to return to the journey of discovery that began when you and your partner first met. You might think you know everything there is to know about them, but that’s probably not true.
Open yourself up to discovering all there is to know about them. That means being vulnerable to yourself. By deeply disclosing yourself to your partner, your relationship will become closer and more intimate.
- Shake things up a bit
The way we interact with each other becomes so practiced over time, that we can end up feeling very little emotion at all. Then, when something unexpected happens, our routine is interrupted and we suddenly feel something. If your relationship is stale and lacking in the intimacy stakes, why not interrupt your routine to shake things up a bit?
It need not be anything extreme. Just a minor interruption will breathe life into your relationship. Going to a new place together or doing something you’ve never done before might be just the wake-up call that your relationship needs!
- Add some adrenaline!
Talking about doing something new together, why not try something that will get the adrenaline flowing. Research shows that a moderate amount of adrenaline can increase intimacy and help you feel more attracted to your partner.
People who do things together that increase adrenaline levels feel closer and more together. What about rock climbing or zip lining? An activity that is slightly risky can help a couple feel more bonded. If the risk isn’t your thing, even a dance class together might help to create that intimate feeling.
- It takes practice
It takes time to rekindle intimacy. Staring into each other’s eyes once isn’t the quick fix we might want. But the answer to developing intimacy is to practice, practice and practice some more. If, after practicing these tips your relationship is still loaded with issues, seek out the help of a professional. A therapist or coach who is experienced in relationship therapy can advise you on your intimacy challenges. After all, you deserve a healthy, intimate relationship.