Distance makes the heart grow fonder. This is what they say at least. Anyone who is in, or has been in, a long-distance relationship will tell you that it sucks. Plain and simple. Being separated from your loved one is not a delicate, romantic struggle. You do not silently yearn for them whilst sipping a cup of tea. It is grueling. It is tough. And a lot of the time, it doesn’t work.
Technology helps. It is not the 18th century where you must wait weeks or even months for that letter from your darling. We have instant messaging, Skype and a whole host of gadgets and gizmos which claim to be able to bring people together, even over long distances. Therefore, long-distance relationships can work. They are not easy, and the odds are stacked against you, but they can work. Here are 10 pieces of advice, which may help keep that long-distance relationship alive.
Communication is key, but should not be over-done
Most people think that to maintain a long-distance relationship, there must constant communication. This is not necessarily the case. While communication is vital, it should not be excessive or overbearing.
Lay out the rules of the relationship ahead of time
Boundaries, limitations, and expectations are central to every relationship. This is exactly the case with a long-distance one. By setting these out before commencing the relationship, one can avoid unnecessary disappointment and pain.
Keep sex alive
Sex can be very awkward, even more so with phone sex. But, keeping the spark alive may just save a long-distance relationship. Sex is a bonding activity and could make the time and distance seem less.
Do not tempt fate with dangerous situations
In a monogamous relationship, fidelity is a given. Basically, a relationship is a pact made between 2 people. The point is never to break the pact. In a long-distance relationship, a person may to tempted to form bonds with people, where the lines could possibly be blurred. These situations should be avoided at all costs. Do not put yourself in a position where you may be tempted, even just for a minute, to stray outside of the relationship. Once a trust like this is broken, it can never really be reforged.
Do things that create common ground
Maybe you are reading a fascinating new book or have started watching a thrilling new series. Why not get your loved one to do the same? This may give the illusion of you two participating in the same activity. It gives you something to talk about, it provides for shared experiences.
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This should not be your only form of communication, but the art of letter writing should be preserved. This age-old tradition will help add mystery and anticipation to your relationship.
Trust your loved one
A long-distance relationship cannot survive without trust. It is very easy to slip into jealousy mode, even when your partner is nearby. This should be avoided in a long-distance relationship as it may land up breeding resentment.
Give the silent treatment a miss
There is already distance between you two. There is no need to add silence to that. If there is a problem, talk about it. Don’t let it fester.
Share your journals
Even if you are not the type to write a diary, now might be a good time to start. Chronical your life and share it with your loved one. This will make you both feel intimately involved in each other’s lives, despite the distance.
Visit each other
Nothing reignites the love, like having your partner in your arms once more.