Marriage is not easy. It takes continual effort from both sides. But, if this kind of union is so difficult, then why do people still get married in their thousands each year? Well, the obvious answer is that there are a fair number of pros to getting married.
The foremost of this being companionship. When you commit yourself to someone for the rest of your life, they do the same thing for you. This may possibly be one of the greatest comforts. How then do you return the love and support when your husband is hurting?
He needs you to be his friend
Not all relationships start as friendships, but maybe they should. When romantically involved with someone, we can at times forget that we are also meant to be friends with one another. When your husband is hurting, he could use not only your love but also your friendship.
You need to forgive his failures at this time
Forgiving and forgetting is not easy. We are all tempted to hold on to and nurture our grudges. It is also not easy to simply move on when someone has made a mistake or has failed at something, especially when it directly affects you. At times like these, we must try at least to forgive the mistakes and the failings.
When a person is down, it is very easy to feel like the world is out to get you, maybe it is. This should not be the case at home. Your partner needs encouragement from you. Rejection from the person you love the most during one’s vulnerable times is particularly damaging.
This is the time to believe in him
The difficulty is not believing in someone when they are doing well, it is believing in them when the rest of the world doesn’t, and you don’t have much reason to. This is where you are tried and tested. This is where you need optimism and hope, and he needs you to believe that he can manage. That he can make it through this.
You need to love him for what he is and not what he could be
We know our partner’s pros, we know their cons. Most importantly we know what they are capable of. It can be very disheartening to watch on as someone does not live up to their potential. But, it is not our job to put them down further. We need to accept and love the people we are with for who they are.
Refrain from taking the reins completely
When we are down and discouraged, there are things that slip through the cracks. Helping your partner out in this regard is fine, but taking complete control is not advised.
If this downer is quite bad, then the chances are he has lost complete faith in himself. Gentle reaffirming statements from the woman he loves and trust may just have the power to change his mindset.
Physical contact can have an incredibly calming effect. It also releases endorphins and makes a person happy.
Try not to tell people about his problems
There is nothing more bruising to ego than knowing that everyone you know is aware of the problems you are facing. Many of us are just not self-assured enough for this.
Be on his side
You are his partner, and you are the person he has chosen to share his life with. This includes the good times and the bad. When your husband is hurting, he needs you on his side.